Anytime is a good time for swing time

Swinging is the shit. I love it. Me, you, and everyone else in the world loves it and that both unites and divides us. Back in the day when I was a kid in primary school in HK, recess was friggin short, like 15 mins and the whole school took it at the same time so there weren't nearly enough time or swings to go around.

To top this off, I had a conflict of interest as I also fuckin loved to eat . We had a shitty snack bar managed by a coupla old cranky guys who spoke with a thick country accent and dirty fingernails that disturbed me even as a child. Despite the abysmal customer service and questionable hygienic standards of the operation, I was still pretty excited about grubbing and almost everyday I would pick the eats over the swing and would run my chubby little butt to the skanky snack shack to grab me some snack(s).

One day in the middle of Mandarin class, I asked for permission to go to the restroom and as I made my way to the facilities, I made a detour to the playground and decided to jump on the swing. We only had Mandarin class once a week and the teacher was an elderly lady who never remembered anybody's name. While 99.9% of teachers in HK are humorless and joyless disciplinarians, Mandarin Teacher somehow escaped that mold, very possibly because she was not a trained teacher and was only there part-time to teach weekly classes by virtue of her impeccable Beijing accent. This means I didn't consider Mandarin a real class or her a real teacher and really didn't feel qualms at all for cutting out in the middle of class and making a go for the swings. It was awesome. I swinged the shit out of that bitch.

From then on whenever Mandarin class got too boring or whenever I damn well felt like it, I would go for the swings under the guise of a bathroom break. This lasted for a few weeks. The jig was up when some classmates got hip to what I was up to and wanted to join in. It was easy to get away with shit when it was just me but it got suspicious when a bunch of critters go missing for 5-10 mins. We got busted.

That's the way it goes. You get a good thing going. Then bitches come and fuck things up for you.


Photo courtesy of Emily, who saw this and said it reminded her of me